Credits: Bill Atkins, Dixie Aeromasters, Byron, Ga. (BAtkins@aol.com)
You Might Be An RC Modeler If..
...You have ever glued both hands together with CA and had to use an exactoknife in your teeth to cut them apart.
...You have taken your plane off and panic on the third lap, realizingthat you haven't extended the transmitter antenna.
...You have built two right wings for a single wing plane.
...You get to the field and realize your transmitter is still on chargeat home.
...You have switched your retracts up while you taxi your plane out totake off.
...You lean over your just-finished new plane to brush off a bug and dropa screwdriver out of your shirt pocket that rips through the wing monocote.
...You are making an inverted low pass and then pull "UP" on the elevator.
...You have taken your plane off with the igniter still clipped to theengine's glow plug. ....You ever had to jump over your plane as you werelanding it.
...You have more than one scar on your "cranking" hand.
...You have fuel stains on your new sneakers.
...You are shopping for land to build your dream home on, and would ratherhave flat, open pasture land than rolling wooded hills.
...You spend more time browsing r/c catalogs than the TV guide.
...You will go flying when it's 104? but won't cut the grass for your wife`cause "it's too hot out there".
...You have 47 miscellaneous NiCad batteries and can't find a pair of Dcells for your flashlight.
...Your O.S. engine purrs like a kitten but the family car will barelyrun.
...You see your wife ironing while wearing a thin nighty and it remindsyou of the monocote job you need to finish.
...100 deg. is forecast for the weekend and you hope there isn't a breezeblowing.
...You smash your thumb with a hammer while doing a project for your wifeand the only thing you worry about is `will it be healed by the weekend'.
...You have grass stains on the knees of your favorite slacks.
...Your wife wants to buy a new mini-van and the only thing you are concernedwith is `will the back seats remove easily'.
...You have a sun tan in the roof of your mouth.
...You always keep a supply of paper towels and Windex but never cleanyour car windows.
....Your dad is looking for his padlock and find you are using it for balanceweight.
...You complain about the cost of school supplies for your kids but canwalk out of the hobby shop with $127.83 worth of miscellaneous parts andsupplies.
...You have balsa dust on top of your living room furniture.
...You keep feeling for the trim tabs on your TV remote control.
...You have at least three planes in various stages of completion.
...The neighborhood kids come to you to help them with their summer schoolprojects.
...You can't understand how some men can get so involved with a silly thinglike golf.
...You fit a drop tank on your weed eater.
...You realize the best thing about it is that you can finally play withairplanes without having to make those funny sounds with your mouth.
...You have a layaway account at the local hobby shop but can't understandwhy your wife buys so many clothes.
...You can land your plane even after you discover you are standing ona fire ant bed. ....You spend more money for a pair of sun glasses thanfor a lawn mower.
...You use your field box to crank your lawn tractor.
...Your kids borrow rubber bands from you.
...You think R/C flying should be an Olympic event.
...You read the AMA Journal of Medicine but can't find first aid treatmentfor prop cuts or monocote iron burns.
...Your wife frowns at you at the family cookout when you carve the Thanksgivingturkey with an Exacto knife.
...You buy a 4-wheel drive pickup so you can go get your plane when you"land" it.
...Your wife spray paints her wrought-iron patio furniture with your fuel-proofpaint.
...You use fuel tubing to drink from your sports cool cup.
...You have to put out an APB for your plane that flew out of the backof your pickup on the interstate.
...You buy the "wife and kids" a new pentium computer for Christmas soyou can practice with the Dave Brown flight simulator.
...You have watched TOP GUN and IRON EAGLES more than ten times.
...Your neighbor calls the cops on you for spraying your lawn with an AriesThrush crop duster model.
...You put DU-BRO wheels on your TV tray.
...You wear goggles and a silk scarf around your neck driving to the field.....Your wife's card table has glue and fuel stains on it.
...The weather is too bad to rake the leaves but you can going flying.....You got more "toys" for Christmas than your kids did.
...You have a field box full of every special tool made but don't havea lug wrench when you have a flat tire on your car.
...You look for the servo linkage and antenna wire on every airplane ina movie.
...You have at least ten T-shirts with airplanes on them.
...You carry a chain saw with you to the flying field so you can retrieveyour plane or clear for a landing approach.
...You have ever made a picture frame from parts left over from an airplanekit.
...You change glow plugs every other week but have over 100,000 miles onyour car's spark plugs.
...You buy gas for your lawn mower in a Cool Power jug.
...You play your AMA and radio channel numbers in the lottery.
...You use your heat gun to try getting wrinkles out of your new bathroomwall-paper job. ....You watch "Wings" on The Discovery Channel at leastthree times a week.
...You have ever glued your ring to your finger.
...You modify your garage door opener with trim tabs.
...You plan your vacations using Fly-In schedules.
...You use more wax paper building planes than your wife does baking.
...You have more pictures of your airplanes than of your wife.
...You buy a $600 mini-lathe to make $5 airplane parts.
...You have enough broken props to use for firewood.
...You have ever used an old elevator pushrod to scratch your back.
...You shop Toy-R-Us for pilots.
...Your doctor tells you that you have prop whip elbow.
...You got your wife a plane kit for Mother's Day.
...You can cover a prize-winning plane with monocote but can't iron yourshirts.
...Your friends have ever strung yellow "CRIME SCENE" tape around yourplane.
...You have ever taken your plane off with the ailerons backbacks and stilllanded it safely.
....You can program a mutli-plane 9-channel computer radio but can't figureout your VCR.
....You claimed your AMA dues on your income tax return.
..Your latest plane costed more than your wife's dish washer.
...You have a dog-eared r/c catalog in your bathroom.
...You know what the term "Dumb-Thumb" really means.
...You smell Windex and it reminds you that you need to clean your planes.
...Your wedding anniversary falls on a Fly-In weekend and you actuallythink about your choices.
...With all your mail from AMA your postman thinks you're a doctor.
...You can blow gnats from your eyes out of the corner of your mouth andkeep on flying.
...You think about checking the frequency board before operating your TVremote at home.
...You complain about the cost of getting your kids started back in schoolbecause it cuts into your money available for the Swap Meet.
...You have complained about your wife forgetting something at the grocerystore and you having to go back for it, yet you will drive 60 miles fora $3 part to finish a plane for Sunday.
...It's September and you have already given your wife your Christmas wishlist (with nothing but R/C stuff on it).
...You actually enjoy reading these "You Might Be" jokes.
...You spend $12.50 for your wife some costume jewelry earrings at a SwapMeet and $362 for airplane stuff and figure everything is even.
...You tape Sunday afternoon football games and auto races and watch themSunday night.
....Your biggest adult desision is golf or flying on a pretty weekend afternoon.
...You crank your leaf blower and hold vertical and adjust the trim.
...You buy your daughter (or wife) a doll house kit from HobbyTown USAjust so you will have something to glue together on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
...You have enough scrap balsa to start fires in your fireplace.
....You name your dog "Aileron".
...You use coat hangers and duct tape for anything other than hanging clothesand taping duct.
....Your transmitter has more computing power than a Pentium PC.
...You introduce your wife as your co-pilot.
...You consider a quality evening with the family consist of gluing andsanding.
...You show up at the field with your channel 24 transmitter and your planehas channel 42 receiver in it.
...It's too cold to wash your wife's car but you'll going flying.
...You can't wait for grass cutting season to get here.
...You crash your plane and go to the golf course to vent your frustration.
....You use an infrared tach to set the speeds of your ceiling fans.
...You wash your car or truck on Saturday and will drive through mud toget to the flying field on Sunday.
...You'll complain about buses and trucks with all that stinking dieselsmoke but add it to your plane.
...You spend more time at the field working on your plane than flying it.
....You use a chain saw to improve your landing approach.
...Your wife uses your spare props to stir her paint can.
...You have fuel stains in the trunk of your car.
...You consider a Sunday picnic as a couple of hot dogs at the flying field.
...You consider the R/C club meeting as the month's social event.
...You spend $475 at a swap meet and question your wife's plans for a summervacation as too expensive.
...You save popcycle sticks to stur your epoxy glue with.
...You can balance your plane but can't balance your check book.
...You will spend six hours Saturday working on your plane but won't fixthe leaking commode tank valve `cause you don't have time.
